Jackie Marie Carr

How to Build Your Husband as a Leader

One of the reasons I am so excited to write to you ladies at the Blossom and Bud is because whether you are a teenager about to start your own journey, or you are a young mom facing many new challenges, or you are a veteran and can teach all of us many lessons; I love honoring the ones who have so graciously invested in me. I have had the privilege of watching my grandmothers build sweet relationships with their husbands, family, and others.

Also, I have a wonderful mother who guided our home in wisdom. I have had great examples of strong women who have taught by their example in how to build your husband as a leader.



Before I knew that I wanted to be in the ministry, I told my parents that I would attend a Christian college. I did not know at the time what I wanted to do. I was a very driven young person, and honestly not many of the degrees in the catalog interested me. My mom brought to my attention the education degree offered in Marriage and Motherhood. At first, this thought did not interest me being a strong, driven young woman.

On the other hand, my mother was very wise. Even though I was an athlete, singer, and wanted to be entrepreneur, my mother enticed me with exciting things you could make of a degree in Marriage and Motherhood. She said, “Jackie, you like to cook. Maybe you could have your own business or bakery. You love to design, maybe one day you could become an interior designer.” I was all ears at that point, because my mother taught us to love homemaking, because she was so skilled at it! She also suggested that I could continue my music lessons privately.

Day after day, I am so thankful for my mother’s wisdom and advice.

I was able to learn from so many successful women with years of marriage, childrearing, ministry, and business under their belt. Every day of class was like gaining counseling session one after the other. I thought if I could just retain all this information!

My husband and I were just recently asked to speak for a marriage seminar at Calvary Baptist Church in Kentucky.



The Lord gave me these thoughts on the Ministry of Marriage and Motherhood from I Corinthians 16:13-18,


“Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.

Let all your things be done with charity.

I beseech you, brethren, (ye know the house of Stephanas, that it is the firstfruits of Achaia, and that they have addicted themselves to the ministry of the saints,)

That ye submit yourselves unto such, and to every one that helpeth with us, and laboureth.

I am glad of the coming of Stephanas and Fortunatus and Achaicus: for that which was lacking on your part they have supplied.

For they have refreshed my spirit and yours: therefore acknowledge ye them that are such.”


One thing we must realize is when we minister to the needs of our husband and family, we are ministering to the Lord.



Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”

I am supposed to serve my husband as if I were serving the Lord. There are many other passages that teach this principle.


I have thought before in my younger days that this passage was not fair of God to ask women to submit before He asked the men to love. Now after reading and studying my Bible year after year I know differently. I was reading in Luke about Elisabeth and Zacharias; they were both Godly people the Bible says. An angel appeared unto Zacharias and told him that he would have a son, and that his name would be John. Well, even though Zacharias was a good man, he did not believe the angel. The angel caused him to be dumb so that he could not speak.

When Elisabeth found out she was pregnant she did believe God, and the Bible says that she was filled with the Holy Spirit. It was not until after the baby was born that Zacharias agreed to call the baby John that God healed his speech. Everyone was calling the baby Zacharias after his father, but Elisabeth and Zacharias both knew the baby was supposed to have the name, John, and would be used by God greatly. Zacharias did not believe God on this issue until after Elisabeth did.

Many times, if the wife will just believe God and follow the recipe the Lord has put into His Word, many times everything else will fall into place.

Sometimes, it doesn’t make sense that God has asked wives to submit to their husbands first. Regardless of what the man is supposed to do, if a woman will submit to her husband, she will be blessed for it; .


this is the man’s duty. But, I do believe that if a wife will trust God by being obedient to her husband and following him this is what will truly change a home.


One of the greatest ways you can minister to the needs of your husband is to show him that you are following him.



You are his biggest supporter and cheerleader. He wants to know that you are going to follow him regardless of what anyone else says or thinks. This takes much practice! The calling of a wife is to manage many things. So, it’s by our nature to want to micromanage our husbands. Many times we must sit back and enjoy the ride. I know many times trusting seems hard sometimes because we want to know we are in control of everything. I do not mean this in a bad way at all.


I thought about Sarah and how she followed her husband. She actually laughed when the Lord told her she would have a baby in her old age. See, she wanted a baby, and it was in her plan while she was young. Yet, I am thankful she had enough faith to continue following Abraham, and had the strength to conceive Isaac in her later years (Hebrews mentions).

I have studied many older great women, and they have told me that men have to learn how to lead just like women have to learn how to follow.

The best way you can encourage your husband in his leadership is by allowing him to lead.

You have to expect that both of you will fail. That’s just part of life (my husband makes this statement all the time:))!

Let him make even the small decisions. Go with his preferences. Honor him, always, by how you speak to him, speak about him to others, and by how you take care of your appearance. Never ever forget to praise his good decisions, and refrain from pounding his “bad” decisions.



Seriously, when your husband pays his bills on time, continues in his work even when times are hard, when he takes you out on a date, when he handles the children graciously; make a note to yourself and send him a text or a card and tell him how blessed you are. Tell him how secure you feel because of how well he takes care of the family. Building your husband as a leader takes much positive praise.

Nagging and negativity never bring about positive change.

So, relax and enjoy the ride while you trust God and believe in your husband. This practice is easier said than done sometimes, but I am convinced the greatest tool we have to build our homes is through building our husband’s leadership.

This is only one of the thoughts from I Corinthians 16, but I would love to continue another blog post soon with the other thoughts from this passage! Please help me share this post to Pinterest and your other social media accounts so that other women can be encouraged through the truth of God’s Word. I love you all, and appreciate all your feedback!