Jackie Marie Carr

The Need to Be Loved and How to Give Love

We have already talked about How to Build Your Husband as a Leader in this post, but

today I want to talk about one thing that is absolutely the most important thing in the ministry of marriage and motherhood, and that is The Need to Be Loved and How to Give Love.

The need to be loved and how to give love is where I want to dig deeper in the topic of the ministry of Marriage and Motherhood.

I wrote from this verse in an earlier post, “…they have addicted themselves to the ministry of the saints,” (I Corinthians 16:15b) See post here and here.

You may say, “Jackie, you are absolutely right! My need to be loved is the one thing I NEED more than anything.”



In the same passage we read in I Corinthians 16:13-14, “Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong. Let all your things be done with charity.”

I think God purposely put these verses side by side. I do not thing it is possible to love another person without the almighty strength of God. You may ask, “Why Jackie? Isn’t love natural? Isn’t love something that just bubbles over inside of us? You know that head over heels, deeply, madly, heart achy, tummy fluttered love…”

There are different types of love.

Yes, there is that love where your heart skips a beat, and the love that first drew you to your spouse. On the other hand, this is not the only love that will keep you married 50+ years.



The Bible says that above all, we need charity. Charity is love giving in action.

If a person is going to love their spouse or their family they must LEARN how to love them.

One day I read Titus 2:4 which says, “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,” When I read this verse I immediately began asking the Lord to please teach me how to love my husband and children how they need to be loved individually, and please lead me to the knowledge that I need in this area.

You see, if we love in our own strength and in our own knowledge, we can simply and only love our family how we enjoy being loved (which is not totally bad, but it’s more of a selfish love).



We must learn our husband and children’s love language and love them in the way that they need to be loved in order for them to thrive. Why does this take strength?

When you read the love chapter in the Bible it never one times says how to receive love; yet the entire chapter tells me how I am supposed to GIVE charity.


This following is the list from I Corinthians 13 of what charity is:

  • Charity suffereth long (Charity is willing to suffer through hard seasons, even when you feel unloved)
  • Charity is kind
  • Charity envieth not (Charity is not jealous)
  • Charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up (Charity builds others)
  • Charity is doth not behave itself unseemly (Charity is not rude)
  • Charity is not worried about the return (seeketh not her own)
  • Charity does not become easily aggravated
  • Charity thinks no evil (thinks positive of others and gives them the benefit of the doubt)
  • Rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth
  • Charity bears ALL things
  • Charity believeth all things
  • Charity hopeth all things
  • Charity endureth all things
  • Charity NEVER fails
  • Charity is greater than faith and hope



This article is for anyone, but I specifically write to women from the truth of God’s Word.

If you go back to Titus 2:4, the first thing on that list the younger women are to learn is how to be sober. Before we can learn how to love we must learn how to be sober. In the years I have studied this topic and have learned from other pastor’s wives and Spiritual leaders on this topic of being sober, sober is a mental discipline. To be sober is strength of mind.


Never before has the Devil tried to attack the woman’s mind so many ways then today. We are so unhappy because of unmet expectations of our loved ones; maybe a lack of love that we feel; or we feel we are giving all, while we think maybe our partner does not care about our needs.


I am not writing to anyone except but for you and me. I cannot change or control anyone. The so-called love that others love me with may possibly fail, but my love does not have to fail.

Agape love is the love that sent Jesus to the cross for me when I did not deserve redeeming. Who am I to say I cannot love or cannot forgive someone? Am I better than Christ?



Sometimes, we need to step back and have a healing of our mind, body, and spirit.

In almost every problem in life there is a Spiritual and practical solution. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is III John 2, “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.” I love how Spiritually sound this advice is, yet practically applicable. God desires for us to proper spiritually and physically.


Sometimes we have our hard time loving others because of some deep-seeded hurts from the past.

Maybe you were not loved, as you should have been. Were you hurt or neglected at some place in your life? Have you experienced the forgiveness that Christ offers so that you can move on?



Do you know how much the Savior loves you?

I’m not talking to a crowd of people; if you are reading this I am talking to you. Do you know that you are loved by an All-Mighty God? He knew you before He created you, and you were special in His eyes. If you know how much God loves you, you can be secure enough to love others willingly.


Have you been strengthening yourself mentally, preparing yourself to love others unconditionally?

You have to be so strong mentally to love others that you could win the strongest man contest LOL!

“Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.” Have you been strengthening your mind through the power of the Word and God, renewing your mind daily? We have to have our minds renewed daily so that we do not fall back into the trap of defining love as the Hollywood movie type of love.



Are you taking care of your health physically? What you eat, your rest, and exercise play a big role in mental strength.


Do you fear that if you love unconditionally, no strings attached, that you will lose in the end?

The Bible says in I John 4:18, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” If you are living in fear in your relationships, that fear will torment you. Fear will cause you to react instead of acting in love. Being fearful will cause you to cast doubt and throw blame at yourself and others. Fear will also keep you from understanding the one you love so much.

In order to love someone, you have to see things the way they do. You have to put yourself in their shoes. (Be in one mind… the Bible says over and over again)


These are some thoughts that I consistently meditate on as I strive to meet the love needs of my husband, children, and others.

Let me just say this, God knows that you personally have a need for love; we all do as humans. Remember the Bible says, “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Jesus has the ability to see to it that you have all your needs met if you will simply trust Him. I can testify that the Lord has sufficiently met all my needs plus some. He is so sweet!


I hope this helps you as much as it did me. I love you all. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to reach out to me via email or social media.